The Twaddle is absolutely jam-packed full of articles; so many, in fact, that they formed a union to petition for their own page. Not wanting to upset them, we conceded. Later, we added lots of other crap to the site, and put that on the articles' page as well. Luckily they haven't noticed yet – boy, will we be screwed when they do! In the meantime:
The Bollocks
Matt & Greg proffer more daftness from El Twad HQ
Staff Exposition
Psychiatrists' notes from a session with the defendants
Credits
The staff's accomplices and victims
Blurb Archive
The front page's graveyard, where all the deceased paragraphs go to rest in peace
Goodies
Things to take and go
The Twaddle Presents: A Film About Whippets
No animals were harmed in the making of this video... well, except some whippets.
The Twaddle's Guide to Using teh Intarweb
How to use an internet to read The Twaddle
The Twaddle Presents: Never a Frown
Sound and pictures conspire to produce this comedy gem.
Expletatron
A solution to one of life's most common and annoying problems.
The Twaddle Presents: Gardner's Patented Snowball Smash
Snow + ball = get in there!
St. George's Day
A nice bit of random St. George's Day-related blurb, complete with a good old-fashioned patriotic poem.
Hartlepool Sixth Form College Parties, February 2004
Brinkburn's students are drunken slobs with nothing better to do than get drunk and dance a bit. So they'll like this.
Controverama
Evidently, we at The Twaddle have few friends. I'm as surprised as you are.
Theirs Is A Land Of Hope And Glory...
How to turn Hitler into a Raccoon.
Musings on Extremism, Fanaticism and Religion
Extremists are like iPods – lots of them are white (and they can store up to two weeks of music).
3 Days in December – The Twaddle's History Lesson
Stop playing Noughts and Crosses, put that paper aeroplane in the bin and stop changing the volume with your watch!
This Time?
Straight from The Twaddle Sportsdesk comes this evaluation of England's Euro 2004 chances.
How Low Can You Go?
Matthew weighs in with this radical article about the culture of limboing in modern society. No, really. Yes, I'm serious. Honest. ...Limboing.
The Twaddle Diet
A revolutionary new diet that will change your life – and (of course) your waistline.
The RacCommies
Surely not? The Raccoons, beloved children's institution, were Communist propagandists?!
00101 01110 00111 01100 01001 10011 01000 01001 10011 00011 01111 01111 01100
Why humans don't communicate in binary.
BBC – Put Some Real Sports On
What passes for sport on the BBC isn't sport at all. It's an imposter, in bargames' clothing.
A Long One, Re: Beethoven
James was wrong?!
Accepting Computer Gaming into Modern Culture – Why Not?
Y'know, PlayStations aren't just for sad, spotty geeks. Xboxes are, too.
Beethoven & Others vs. Big Brovaz 'n' Ovaz
Modern pop music is godawful; classical music is excellent. Simple as that.
Third Rate Football?
Lower league football is, apparently, not automatically rubbish. No, really.
Don't Like Smoking? Don't Smoke
Isn't it obvious? If you don't like smoking, you should just not smoke. That solves the problem... doesn't it? (Of course it doesn't, fool – read the article!)
i h8 teenage poetry
You know it's awful – teenage poetry, and why Matthew h8s it. D'you see the irony? In the title? Yeah, you do.
This edition published 2007-09-14
© The Twaddle MMIII—MMVII