The Twaddle

A Long One, Re: Beethoven

In response to James' article on music, or rather classical music and its general superiority over popular music, David Craigie posted the following to The Twaddle Forums. It has been elevated to its rightful place as an article in itself.

It's gonna be a long one, folks. I wouldn't read it.

Throughout this article, I was amazed that someone so intent on attacking those who listen to a type of music that the writer doesn't appreciate seems so unwilling to appreciate that not everything written and recorded in the last century is as generic and formless as the writer – and, to a certain extent, myself – believes that pop music of recent times is. I acknowledge that my taste in music is a subjective opinion and that alone – I see no evidence that the writer can conceive of the same idea.

each piece is individually crafted by the hands of the composer whose marvelous mind conceived the idea and whose genius gave birth to and nurtured it into a well rounded and emotive piece

if such juxtaposition doesn't cause your monacle to fall out

Really? Does it not seem possible, perhaps, that your range is limited to merely what has survived in some form or other to be reproduced today – “popular classical music”, if such juxtaposition doesn't cause your monacle to fall out? Does it honestly seem feasible that such a genre can exist that everyone who composes within it is automatically blessed with genius?

Here, you say more in a half-paragraph than the entire article aims to tell us – you are a musically-prescriptive hermit crab. If you honestly believe that all modern day music is written, presumably in crayon, by those who “suffer from serious, possibly even contagious retardation” and that classical music, by definition, is mana from the Gods, born of genius and, without question of individual merit, excellent, you have failed to understand that compositions of great beauty and individuality can exist, even in the world of “pop” (although, more likely, not) and, one can only assume, failed to try to seek out anything written in the last century.

Pray tell, readers, which modern bands or artists can claim to do such a thing?

Even if it were suggested to you that the claim could be made, I doubt highly based on this article that you would be willing to listen.

Artists at present struggle to turn out anything over four minutes in length

Rather than go to great length to present numerous examples of music from many different areas of modern music with long song lengths that still remain interesting to listen to, I instead propose this question to you: do you base the enjoyment of a meal on how long it takes to eat it?

A three or four minute long song can be just as enjoyable as a far-longer sonata or concerto. Long length of music often proves, in my opinion, to soon degenerate into unnecessary repetition and self-indulgent variation – take it from the perspective of a violinist and pianist, it is musically tiresome to play twelve variations of a piece in which far fewer – if any – would be more satisfying to both play and listen to.

My message goes out to all modern artists who find the three and a half minute barrier a challenge: don't consider yourself an artist until you can take up the yoke of a true artist

Does it feel good to believe that your music can beat up their music?

Once again, you fail to differentiate between choice and capability – You will rarely find a record label willing to let their artists release many tracks longer than 10-minutes, nor artists willing to record them simply for the sake of length.

Furthermore, I don't suggest that you try to define a “true artist”. You will fail (especially if you consider the number of repeat bar lines proportional to amount of artistic merit).

So in conclusion, only attack a musical genre when you know you have more firepower than they have

Does it feel good to believe that your music can beat up their music? I hope so.

I assume that by now I have lost those people who actually attack classical music due to their IQ being lower than my shoe size

I won't attack your IQ – it's a ridiculously poor attack to make upon anyone – but I will say that I know people clearly less intelligent than yourself who are willing to try new things, and I have far more respect for them than I do for you. Try diversity – see if fits your size 11 feet.