idiocy · Grey Nicholson

The Patriot Act

2018-02-25T20:03:00+00:00

It seems really quite odd to promote patriotism.

Patriotism is the belief that you should like your country because it's yours, rather than because it's actually any good.

If you believe your country really is good, then you don't need to promote patriotism, because everyone will like your country anyway — because it's good.

So proud patriots who insist that everyone should be a patriot, and if you're not a patriot, well that's just not patriotic: I guess those people actually think their country is… rubbish?

So why do they want everyone to love their rubbish country?

Stuart Maconie is going to get shot

2005-09-03T23:52:00+00:00

Today's Critical List was a special comprising just those albums nominated for this year's Mercury Music Prize. ...which, incidentally, is being awarded this Tuesday night and will be on BBC Four and Radio 1 at 21:00 and 6 Music at 24:00.

The favourites are, not surprisingly, the Kaiser Chiefs - their “faux-indie” style (pop in the style of popular, but still not mainstream, contemporary music) is very comparable to last year's winners, Franz Ferdinand (whose stated aim was to make the girls dance).

Also on the programme was Move On Now, from Hard-Fi's album Stars of CCTV, the style of which is vastly removed from that of their four singles to date. This song is a soft piano ballad, essentially down-tempo lounge music.

Of course, the clear winner ought to be Maxïmo Park's album A Certain Trigger. Stuart Maconie introduced The Coast Is Always Changing with this:

Here's another, this time from Wearside.

My immediate response to this was “Oh, he is going to get shot!”.

Wearside, of course, refers to Sunderland, through which the River Wear flows. Unfortunately, Maxïmo Park are from Newcastle upon Tyne.

As any map of Tyne and Wear shows, Newcastle is about 20 km west-north-west of Sunderland. And, of course, the Geordies aren't very fond of the Mackems.

After the song Stuart carried on, saying that Maxïmo Park are one of two indie acts from Sunderland this year, the other being the Futureheads (who are actually from Sunderland). I don't think he should visit any music venues in Newcastle any time soon. Or ever.

For historical reference, the eventual winner was Antony and the Johnsons, who were pretty much the favourites by the time of the announcement.

Your Computer May Be Commandeered By Randomers

2005-08-31T21:18:00+00:00

I'm often amazed by how many screenshots of Firefox include a critical update icon. A red disc in the top-right of the browser window means there is a critical update to Firefox available and that you should upgrade immediately.

Yes, it's crap UI, which is why it's gone in Deer Park - there's a nice, big “You need to update Firefox now” dialogue instead. But I'm still surprised by how many people completely dismiss it. I assume they can see it's there; is nobody interested in finding out what it means? It only requires pointing at it.

Maybe the icon should have had a large label reading “Your computer may be commandeered by randomers. Click here if you'd prefer it not to be.”

A rant about foreigners

2005-08-19T21:27:00+00:00

I just blundered upon Death by Caffeine thanks to it having been Slashkottked (or whatever the proper term is), but I'm left still wondering how much beverage it'll take to kill me.

There are ostensibly three hurdles in the way of finding out how much I need to drink in order to die. Firstly, I have to pick my poison; of course, this is PG Tips.

Now, the poison list includes several tea options: Tea (Brewed, Imported), Tea (Brewed, US Brands), Tea (Green), Tea (Iced) and Tea (Instant). PG Tips is certainly brewed, but it's not imported. Neither it is a US brand. If it were green I wouldn't drink it; it may get cold but not because it's been iced. And while pyramid bags may be several times quicker than flat ones, they're not instant.

Never mind - just pick any and carry on, to the second hurdle: Weight (no problem) ...in Lbs (ah). Unfortunately I'm not one of the 5% of people in the world who know their weight in Lbs.

I did manage to click the button, though. Anyway, the moral of the story is that when you assume you make an arse out of yourself. Rant over.

IEBlurb

2005-02-21T00:25:00+00:00

Five months ago I wrote about how the IE weblog's Browsing the Web section was empty. Since then, they've written one item in this category, A fresh IE security update. Yes, that's what browsing the web is all about.

I seriously believe the only reason it's in this category is that it concludes with the phrase Surf safely!. Do you see? Surf? That's Browsing the Web, that is!

Afterthought

This is my hundredth entry.

Bringing down the establishment one pillock at a time

2004-08-17T03:09:00+00:00

Anarchy!